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lovethehaters [userpic]

Honestly?

January 28th, 2011 (12:39 pm)
crushed

current location: My Bed
current mood: crushed
current song: Violient J

I Feel Like Dying.

lovethehaters [userpic]

I do see your side...

January 25th, 2011 (09:04 pm)
crushed

current location: My Bed
current mood: crushed
current song: Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frk3L8mVQNk

This song explains alot. (if you change the lyrics a lil)

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles
away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay


You wanna know what I'm thinking?

Im not strong enough to see you flirting
I cant watch
I get we arent together
But im not over it yet.
Im sorry
I get you want to move on.
I guess I dont want to hold you back.
I just cant watch.
N i kno that sounds horrible
But it litterly kills me to watch
It hurts me knowing Its not me
You were my everything.
N honestly,
I dont want to move on.
I dont want to be with anyone else
I dont want to start over
Im miserable right now though
You have no idea how I feel.
I cant even explain it.
Mostly I feel alone though.
Used
Heartbroken
Ignored
Taken advantage of
Empty
I cant even scratch the surface.



Today

Pros- Got outta the house, had fun, I do kinda like Angel more than before, met new ppl, baked, funny shiz happend I guess

Cons- Watching you two, being left out, they left a mess, they left late even though they all knew they had to leave! n josh saw them. (Josh told my mom btw.)

lovethehaters [userpic]

I wanna disapear

January 23rd, 2011 (05:57 pm)
depressed

current location: My Bed
current mood: depressed
current song: R.I.P 3OH!3


I wanna go away.
Im not happy here.
I wanna disapear.
Nobody would notice.
I feel empty.
Im sick of crying everyday!
I dont wanna be here anymore.
:(

</3
Jessimaka

lovethehaters [userpic]

Never Enough

January 21st, 2011 (12:17 pm)
annoyed

current location: My Floor
current mood: annoyed
current song: To Catch A Predator-ICP

Why is nothing I ever do ever good enough for anyone?
I try so hard to make everyone else happy to the point that im not happy.
Im not perfect.
I have feelings to you kno.

lovethehaters [userpic]

Truth?

January 18th, 2011 (01:36 pm)
lonely

current location: My Bed
current mood: lonely
current song: See You Go - 3oh!3

I
Miss
Everything

lovethehaters [userpic]

Have you ever wondered

January 8th, 2011 (09:54 pm)
horny

current location: My Bed
current mood: horny

 

What you meant to someone?
Who you would turn out to be?
Would you die alone?

What if you found out?
Would it change your ending?

My brains alll over the place.

I want to be yours.
But I cant because I dont know if this will all happen again.
I dont know how I can look past what has happend.

I want you to want me.
But you dont.
I want you to love me.
But you wont.

You would think id learn.
I dont.
lol

I like it when your with me.
Everythings happier.
Im never overly bored with you.
I just hate that I have to do EVERYTHING for you.

IDK

I LOVE YOU

Jessimaka

<3


lovethehaters [userpic]

When I Gave Up On You

January 8th, 2011 (09:43 pm)
hopeful

current location: My Bed
current mood: hopeful
current song: Lil Wayne

The Ones Who Mattered

The first was easy. He believed lies. I never got attatched.

The next was harder. He was closer to me. I hurt him alot. It was ok though cuz I never loved him like he loved me.

It got harder. I gave up on him in the rain, outside a Payless.

The last is the hardest, I dont know when I gave up. Its more I've been given up on.

These are the ones who left scars on my heart. The ones I tried with.

 

(I was thinking about when I moved on from my x's, I can almost pinpoint the moment when I gave up)

lovethehaters [userpic]

OMG

January 4th, 2011 (08:08 pm)
satisfied

current location: My Bed
current mood: satisfied
current song: Summer Girls

 

I Is Happy :D
I made my first CD for my moms car.
House is spotless
Imma go see my fav ppl tomarrow!!
Im starting to feel less sick
I got up n showerd
Even put makeup on
XD
Took some intense pics
Formatted my phone
Gunna reload music on it tonight
Boomer licked me O.o
I feel lighter today
Which wont make sence to anyone
But like on the inside?
Whatever.
I wanna be a drifter
Is that weird?
I wanna start over
I wanna be me
Not hide anything
Imma change
Imma be me
The real me
Thats my new goal.
Be Me.

Well Imma go smoke,
so
Peace out

<3

Jessimaka


lovethehaters [userpic]

I count the empty bottles upon the bar but I give up, I can't count that far

January 3rd, 2011 (10:17 pm)
hopeful

current location: My Bed
current mood: hopeful
current song: R.I.P 3OH!3

I feel like im out of my body
Im confused
I told him no
I told the new guy no too
Eventually I'll say yes
Eventually you will see
Im really cold
I feel lonely
Im happy alot of the time
But Im not not right now
I hit down time
I just wanna lay here in the dark
Thinking
Contomplating
This song reminds me of my life
R.I.P by 3OH!3
N its addicting
I feel like somethings missing
But its not you anymore
Im gunna find something new to fill the gap
My head hurts
I dont sleep right again
I got use to sleeping with you
Than I slept alone
Than you stayed just long enough to get use to
Than you left again
I cant do it
Ill be here for you though
I miss my friends
I miss having a life
I miss being happy
Its all going to change though
Soon
I expect so much
That Im scared it will all come crashing down
But I need hope right now
A reason

<3

Jessimaka

lovethehaters [userpic]

I get it now

January 3rd, 2011 (07:35 pm)
confused

current location: My Bed
current mood: confused
current song: R.I.P 3OH!3

I want to be friends.
I see that what we had is gone.
I can deal with that.
I just cant deal with me being nothing to you.
I dont want to go back.
I want to move forward.

R.I.P
You & Me